Twin Flame Separation — Why??

There you are, with tissues littering your bed. Maybe you’ve got a box of half-eaten chocolates somewhere. Your best friend is threatening to take you speed-dating if you don’t pull yourself together. Perhaps you’ve deleted your Twin’s number from your phone, blocked them on social media, and convinced yourself that it’s over and you should move on already. Except.

Your heart is hopelessly, relentlessly, idiotically in Love with someone who wants nothing to do with you. LOL. What the fuck, Universe?


It’s one of those things that makes you drop to your knees, staring up at the stars, screaming, “Why?? Whhhhaaaaayyyyeee????

What did I do to deserve this?

Nothing. It’s just part of the process. The Union / separation cycle between Twins, also known as “the Twin Flame dance,” is kind of predictable. It is the outward effect of magnetic energy moving between Twins.

Attract, repel, attract, repel. Like magnets.

Separation is the time where the caterpillar surrenders his life, an ego death, and incubates in its cocoon. This phase could be as tragic or enjoyable as you make it. It could last days, weeks, months, years, or decades. It depends on you.

The first separation is the most difficult. 

The ego causes unprecedented levels of unnecessary drama. It creates stories that support negative beliefs about yourself. “I’m not good enough.” “No one will ever love me.” Stuff like that. Or maybe your ego tells stories about others. “He’s not worth it.” “He’ll never see me for who I am.”

Our ego goes to war with the heart. This conflict, the resistance, is the source of all suffering. The ego will make you completely miserable if you let it, until it decides to give up. Or you decide to let it go. To stop listening. To focus on your heart.

Separation doesn’t have to hurt.

When we are connected to our twins at the heart chakra, when we are conscious of the connection on a 5D level, we naturally feel our twins, all the time. When we observe that feeling, we tap into their energy. There is no separation.

Think about it. You are an immortal soul, and you’re stuck with your Twin Flame for all eternity. That means forever, man.

Forever ever? Forever ever?

The only space you get from each other is physical space on a 3D plane, for the micro-unit of time that we are alive in carbon bodies. Which practically comes down to no space at all. Seriously, give your Twin space. Not just physical space, energetic space, too.

It is not energetically possible for your Twin to come back while you’re chasing.

It is not energetically possible for your Twin to return while you are looking outside yourself for the satisfaction of your needs.

You stop running/chasing by turning within. You figure out what you need from your Twin, and you find a way to give it yourself. You ask, why do I tell these stories? You wonder, where did my self-image come from? You think, you search, you dig deep inside, and no matter what you find, you Love yourself.

Then, your Twin returns. When you Love yourself, you Love your twin.

It is not energetically possible to give Love to your twin without receiving that Love from yourself. Your twin is you. On a sub-quantum level, you are exactly the same substance. So, if you are blocking Love from Self, you are also blocking Love from Twin, and your TF is doing the same.

We learn how to Love ourselves during separation. Every cycle breaks another block, heals another wound. When Twin returns, we practice giving that Love away. After we pass the test, we graduate, and go on to the next cycle.

When you look at things this way, you see there is nothing to be upset about when your Twin goes away. It’s just the Twin Flame dance. They will be back when the time is right. Trust in that.


Surrender is a decision made in every single moment. You must be proactive in choosing to remain in a state of non-attachment. This is easier for some than others.

Trusting that we will be taken care of is difficult if you were not taken care of as a child. There may be massive amounts of fear surrounding attachment. This is usually related to the relationship between caregiver and infant. If a mother doesn’t Love her baby, the baby innately knows that it could die. It’s a survival fear. If this is you, heal yourself by becoming the caregiver to your inner baby.

If you have never practiced non-attachment, it may be difficult at first. That discomfort you feel in the physical absence of your twin, the separation anxiety, is attachment. There is a child inside whom thinks they might die if they don’t receive Love. We nurture that child until it’s filled with bliss.

Ego Stories

It doesn’t matter how  many times I say it, people forget to check their egos. When your inner child is crying for your Twin, it loves to tell stories. Take the time to identify what stories are being told about Twin’s physical absence. One of my ego’s favorite is “She doesn’t give a shit about you.”

Really, ego?

Everything is pointing to this reality: She doesn’t give a shit about you. If she did, would she do this? Would she say that? Look, there is evidence. Remember when she did this? Or that? You should be outraged. You should get drunk and text her about how angry you are! Blah blah blah. Brain shart.

Please don’t drunk text your Twin.

Your ego will mind-fuck you if you let it. Seriously. The ego doesn’t understand Love. It will never tell you the Truth, because it doesn’t know the truth. When your Twin is away, don’t give your ego the opportunity to spin you in a web of confusion. If you don’t know what’s happening, simply admit it.

I have no fucking clue why my Twin disappeared just now, but fuck it. I’m going to focus on me. #cutthedrama

But I need you!

That’s why your Twin disappeared. When you start to feel co-dependent, you absolutely need your Twin to hold your hand, or you’ll never make it. Yeah, that’s when they typically peace out. Why? Because the energy of co-dependence repels Twin Flame Union. Your Twin is teaching you that you don’t need them. This is something you can, and will, handle on your own.

Let’s talk about need for a moment. You are a sovereign being, and your Twin is inside you.  You are a god/dess. You don’t need your Twin. On the other hand, yes, you do.

God, I need my Twin. Like right now.

This need has to be balanced to support Twin Flame Union. Healthy need is not desperate. Healthy need says, “I can make it without you, but I’d rather not.” Healthy need is not about surviving, but thriving.

I know how to survive without my Twin. I know that I could find a way to be happy without her. Yet, I need her to help me become the best version of myself. I need her support for the mission. I need her friendship and trust. I need her to help me build my dreams.

See the diff?


Separation is the perfect time for practicing telepathy. Since modes of communication vary, the best way to learn is to just do it. You could talk out loud, write letters and burn them, send mental images, or ask your guides to bring them songs. You could even send your Twin orgasms. Fun!

Pay attention to your dreams. Your Twin may send information they don’t know how to communicate with words.

Don’t expect your Twin to be conscious of telepathic dialogue. If your TF is still asleep, you are probably conversing with their Higher Self, which, at this point, is deep in their subconscious mind.

Wait or Date?

There’s no right or wrong answer to this. It’s a choice you will have to make after examining your motives. Don’t date if it’s just a distraction. Do date if it’s fun. Don’t fuck someone just to make your Twin jealous. Do fuck someone if that person is healthy and the sex is good.

Please be careful of who you sleep with. There is an energy exchange that takes place on a soul level when you sleep with someone. You share this energy with your Twin. Your TF may or may not feel you having sex with someone else, but I promise you, they will be affected by the energy of the other person.

One thing to keep in mind about dating. If you get into a relationship with someone else, you’re no longer available to your Twin. This could delay 3D Union. Or it could help 3D Union. Follow your heart. Trust your soul. If you still have lessons to learn, you may be guided to date. If not, well.


If your heart rejects everyone who comes along, this is a good thing. It means you’ve learned your lessons, and it’s likely that your next lover will be your Twin. The not-so-great thing about this is that you have no idea how long it may take before you have sex with anyone other than yourself. So, you may as well get good at masturbation.

Those with sexual wounds may find themselves in a period of celibacy. Purifying your sexual energy is vital to healing.

There’s a difference between making Love to yourself and jerking off.

Consider giving your orgasm an intention. Orgasms are powerful. It’s the place where the body, mind, heart, and soul aligns and shoots off massive amounts of energy. This is sex magick. The best way to use this energy is for healing. I always say, “heal us both.” Never say, “heal my Twin.” Unless your Twin has given you permission to perform a healing, it’s considered dark magick. It’s better to say, “heal us both.” If you accept healing, your Twin is in acceptance also. Don’t be specific about what kind of healing you want to see. Let your Twin’s guides decide what’s best.

Check out my blog on Light magick if you feel uneasy about this.

You could always send the orgasm to your Twin. That’s kind of fun. But, don’t go crazy with this. You don’t want to disrupt their lives.

Please be mindful of the energy you send your twin. If you are obsessively focused on them, they may block the connection, for good reason.

Live Your Life

Your Twin will come back when you have healed your wound, and you are feeling great about life again. Go out there and live. Don’t do it for your Twin. Do it for you!

Separation doesn’t have to be painful or dramatic. It’s up to you to make it what you want it to be. When separation becomes less painful, you are closer to Union. Common knowledge may say otherwise, but this isn’t a 3D relationship.

Many 3D relationships are based solely on attachment. So we think, if it stops hurting, that means we’ve stopped caring. This isn’t true in the TF dynamic. True Love thrives in non-attachment. I promise, in the absence of attachment, you will still be head over heels in Love with your Twin. The energy will feel much healthier and balanced.

Don’t resist thinking about your Twin. Instead, raise the vibrations of your thoughts with hope, faith, and Love. Every time you feel good, take a moment and send that energy to Twin. They will think of you, in a good way. ❀

I Love you all,



Author: Ikaika Torres

Shamanic practitioner, writer, filmmaker, friend

26 thoughts on “Twin Flame Separation — Why??”

  1. God bless you for writing this. I have know my TF for over 3 years and our first separation happened after 1 and a half years. It was the most painful experience I ever experienced and I am not ashamed to admit that I am blessed to still be alive. Now, I have reunited in 3D with him and my awakening happened right the next day. Amazing! I see our relationship completely different and love him as I love myself, unconditionally. Our energies are crazy at times and we keep pushing each other away but I accept it, knowing that things will eventually settle down when we will both be ready. Hopefully in this life. Thank you for sharing with us this wonderful article ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was one of the gentler descriptions I have read. Thanks, it was exactly what I needed to read. I’m at a point where I know I don’t want anyone else but my twin, and it is nice to read someone post that it is okay to feel that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I needed this so badly ! I woke up anxious feeling sick to my stomach. I had a dream my tf came to me with a gift of a ring and he had a matching one. At first I felt good like we will be united then I was like oh em geee what if he sleeps with someone else (I know so offf topic) but it just made me sick. I read this and I settled some like it’s okay to focus on me and not be sooooo attached to him I’m always afraid the less I focus on him or if I’m not around he’ll find someone else. I’m still floored by the idea of him sleeping with someone else cause I don’t think that is loyalty at all but the other things you mentioned helped me. Cause I been feeling like a crazy person cause no one understands why I feel so connected to him after all the pain I felt in correlation to him but it’s been more Han pain it’s been so much happiness


    1. The good news is that you don’t have to hold on to him, or focus on him, or make Union happen. The entire Universe is conspiring for Twin Flame Union. Just keep redirecting your focus.

      It sounds as if you have some expectations of how you want the connection to look like. It’s natural to want your twin to belong to you and only you. But remember that they have their own journey, and allowing them to explore other soul connections will ultimately give them the space to learn. Sometimes we need the experience of contrast to see what we want and what we don’t want. When we set our twins free, we also give them the freedom to come home (to us).

      There is usually a wound hidden under attachment and jealousy, or whatever is coming up for you. You need your own Love right now. Heal your Self, and you heal your Twin.

      The most efficient way to Love your Twin Flame is to Love your Self first.

      Blessings of clarity and courage.


      1. I think the feelings of him maybe wanting to move on is bc at this moment we are literally not allowed to speak for legal reasons & it bothers me bc I don’t know where we stand . I don’t know if he wants to be with me the way I want to be with him. It’s literally eating me up inside turning me into a crazy person. I have serious abandonment issues so I’m really taking us not talking to heart and I’m really lonely bc he’s my bestfriend and I literally have no other friends that I’m close with. I don’t know how to let go to be honest I just hurt all over spending my days either in bed or wandering around hoping to run into him. I feel so desperate and depressed. I want this all to be over


      2. Hey Morgan,

        I understand. So many of us have been there. If you want to clear this energy, you have to surrender your TF connection and focus on healing this abandonment issue. Guess what? Even if he does want you like you want him, you can’t be together until you work through your crap and learn to Love your Self the way you Love him.

        The most effective way to Love your TF is by loving your Self. It will take disciplined awareness to change the habit of choosing him over you, but it can be done.

        Focus on your spiritual practice and personal journey. Everything will fall into place in due time. Trust. πŸ™‚


  4. My fire starter & I are still separated, and I’m actually greatful for the catapult that launched me into emotional chaos. I couldn’t understand what I read until I cleaned out the sludge and discovered hidden enemies a.k.a. “unsolicited conditionings”. I could feel myself and my heart changing as I began to seek out those to whom I owed apologies & forgiveness. I feel him changing as well and hear him listening to “our music”.
    @Morgan: idk your specific journey, but my experience has taught me to tear down the person I built as me, and allow rebuilding to take place without my personal effort. I, too, suffered from abandonment issues & the burden of expectation. Releasing it all is allowing me to fully explore life without fear. Like they say, “Don’t bring past baggage into a new relationship.” Or any part of your present or future for that matter. And if other intimacies exist, do your best to understand that it’s his way of trying to prove to himself that the intensity & connection aren’t real. If he’s your flame, he’ll realize the truth, but only if you walk away. Being able to work on yourself is a gift – open it. Mercy, grace, & peace to you.


    1. Wow, thanks for sharing that. ❀

      It's true that when we release, our twins do as well. It's very satisfying to know that we can heal our twins by healing our Self.

      Great advice, by the way. Thank you. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi!
    My twin flame lives in the matrix and she is catholic. She doesn’t believe in spiritual life, reincarnation etc. But, It changes a bit each day as you know πŸ™‚ Should I tell her that we are twin flames and explain this situation between us? Is it better for her to be aware or better to let the things happen? Our separation just started few days ago and we both are in a big emotional shit… Thank you for all your support. It helps me a lot πŸ™‚
    Love you as much as I can love now πŸ™‚


    1. Always follow your own guidance. Personally, I would not tell her and just allow things to happen. Stop worrying about your twin right now. Focus on what’s coming up for you, what is the root of this, how can you heal yourself?


      1. Thx Aka πŸ™‚ I know, I have to focus on me. But it’s so hard to do it when I know and I feel her suffer. Firstly I need to move out from the place I live now. We live in the same flat and her girlfriend will back in one month. I don’t want to see them each day, I’m so jealous about her, my ego is still huge. So I wan’t tell her πŸ™‚ Love you!


  6. You sound like you are on the right track and you are seeing things clearly. Be sure to take extra good care of yourself through these transitions. You are doing great.


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