Poem: The Scapegoat’s Heart Along

The River Lethe

image credit: Irma Hudson

The winds fill my sail and

whisper to

my heart.

“Onward, warrior.

Down the River Lethe where your

reflection kept secret

ambitions to wear

the scapegoat’s

scars like stripes upon back or

wrists for the blood

curse they drink in

your honor.

No

You’re not allowed to pray.

Because their god is not

listening.

Not to you, at least.”

As if my Father would turn his eyes from me.

As if my Mother would not love me.

As if all of Heaven would not

smile upon my journey

through this Earth

Temple

while I accept

All That Is.

“Their shadows look

better

on a old-fashioned model.

A Jonah

A Joan

A Jesus

A Satanist

This has happened before.

It will happen

again.”

As the fallen

tree floats

and forks with

every thought

an Angel reaches into

their black bag as I

watch.

My youth scatters like

ash to the dark

waters of unconscious

fear.

While the Tower

of martyrdom

rumbles like Jericho

under my feet.

Mama awakens

within me

“Lion rise,”

with my

six swords aboard

this hopeful vessel

in this here

Underworld.

“Onward, sailor.

Gather your Soul

pearl and tinsel

toward deeper seas.

Reject the curses of

rotten roots

and seek sacred

soil

where the trees and the

stones

sing your song

back to you.

Where the lines

disappear and

you never have to explain

who you are.

Onward, child of the Most High.

You will sail to the

place where Heaven

is on Earth

because your heart says

it is so.

Your family

will know you.

You will speak with your

heart and they will

know you

by your

Love.”

And

in a moment

the Angel is gone.

The black waters

splash against the barge

and a chill echoes

my heart.

–Kaika ❤

Decolonizing Spirituality

I went to a school for neo-shamanism because I didn’t have access to medicine from my own lineage. I learned a lot of techniques that work, but I also learned things that were not congruent with my natural instincts or the ways of my ancestors. This can be damaging because neo-shamanism is essentially white shamanism. This means that the culture is taken and interpreted through a Western lens.

The problem is that Western ideas are not always sustainable, reverent, or even accurate. Western civilization has brought us to the brink of extinction. It poses its definition of sacred as absolute superior to others, its sense of progress and righteousness. So when BIPOC show up to these circles, they either get white-washed or victim-shamed. This is why decolonizing spirituality is important. It’s about creating safe spaces for BIPOC and LGBTQ folks in spiritual circles.

Cultural appropriation hurts BIPOC. It is a form of genocide.

That being said, the medicine I bring through my bloodlines and from past/other lives isn’t really aligned with any institutions. It comes from my roots and the convictions of my heart. It comes from the wisdom of past experiences. It comes from Creator.

I don’t believe that a certificate makes a medicine person. I believe medicine people are born and initiated through trauma(s), and every time they conquer another obstacle, they create medicine to share. This is experiential learning that accumulates in wisdom and humility. Creator chooses these people, not humans. Sometimes I wonder if these shamanic schools do more damage than good…. but who am I to say?

To be clear, I am grateful for my teachers and all the valuable lessons I have learned. I’m grateful for the beautiful people I’ve met. I bless the path I’ve walked and that others may be walking now. I’m letting this go now. I let my heart light the road and my soul lead the way.

I pray for guidance….


Blessings of clarity, peace, and joy. 💙

Layered Truth, Balancing Realities, and Healing the World

I’m in the middle of a profound paradigm shift. I feel like I’ve demolished the old concrete sidewalk and a new one is being laid down to dry. In the process, I find dissonance where there was once resonance, and resonance where there was dissonance. It’s about balancing dualistic realities.

The Eagle’s eye is like a camera lens that allows us to see from great heights. It’s the Sagittarius mind that gives us the bigger picture, the higher truth. It allows us to be the observer and helps to raise our vibration when we get lost.

Then you have the Tiger’s eye. This lens gives us perspective from the ground, and allows us to see in the dark. The Tiger’s eye is more like the Capricorn mind, grounding us in this reality and showing us the practical steps it takes to accomplish our missions.

What is illusion to the higher mind is very real to the grounded mind. Truth is layered, not absolute. As multidimensional beings, we can move through these layers in a way that allows for efficiency and grace.

We stop spiritual bypassing when we learn how and when to switch our lenses. Anyone who has taken a photography class can tell you that it takes a little practice, some playing with the camera before you develop a feel for which lens to use in which conditions.

Looking back, I can see that I’ve used my Eagle lens in moments that required a more grounded and empathetic approach. Sometimes when we fly above our issues, and the issues that other people are going through, we bypass our very humanity, invoking spiritual cliche that comes across as cold and unfeeling, which is ironically contrary behavior to that of an enlightened being.

When we attempt to heal our wounds by seeing them as illusions, cutting away the trauma in our roots, trauma that gave us strength and fortitude, trauma that taught us invaluable lessons, trauma that balanced our karmic debt, cutting off our families, denying our history, turning away from the atrocities committed by our ancestors, while reciting our metaphysical philosophies like, “High vibes only,” we have not healed. We have repressed.

I healed my stories, not by cutting them off and labeling them illusion, but by honoring them, honoring their experiences, listening to the inner children cry, and hearing their dark tales. I stopped punishing my inner children for feeling sad or angry. I stopped neglecting them when they lowered my vibration. Instead I gave them compassion and grace. I cultivated peace and gratitude around my trauma, and harvested strength, courage, and so much power. 

Likewise, we can’t heal the world without being on the ground and honoring the suffering of the collective, turning oppression into empowerment. Media that was intended to cause division can be used to bring people together. Images that were meant to stir up fear and provoke war can be used to generate peace and oneness. But we can’t do that if we are too busy telling ourselves that what’s happening in the world is not our responsibility.

Needless to say, I’m guilty of keeping the Tiger’s lens on for too long sometimes, staying on the ground in survival mode, thrashing about and forgetting my higher purpose. It’s so easy to be angry when you’re down here. There’s so much to be angry about. I’ve got dragon fire for Capitol Hill, for the White House, for the Pentagon. I’ve got dragon fire for myself.

When I find myself feeling self-destructive, I know that I’ve been in the 3D for way too long.

I’m still working through this shift, still learning to be on the ground with the big cats, sniffing the path, watching the shadows in the dark, listening to the heartbeat of Mother Earth, and communing with my ancestors. I’m learning when it is appropriate to shape-shift into the big birds and fly with higher consciousness, remembering that I am an immortal child of the Divine, and there is nothing to fear or worry for.

Aloha. Thanks for listening ❤
#holyshift