Twin Flame Separation — Why??

There you are, with tissues littering your bed. Maybe you’ve got a box of half-eaten chocolates somewhere. Your best friend is threatening to take you speed-dating if you don’t pull yourself together. Perhaps you’ve deleted your Twin’s number from your phone, blocked them on social media, and convinced yourself that it’s over and you should move on already. Except.

Your heart is hopelessly, relentlessly, idiotically in Love with someone who wants nothing to do with you. LOL. What the fuck, Universe?


It’s one of those things that makes you drop to your knees, staring up at the stars, screaming, “Why?? Whhhhaaaaayyyyeee????

What did I do to deserve this?

Nothing. It’s just part of the process. The Union / separation cycle between Twins, also known as “the Twin Flame dance,” is kind of predictable. It is the outward effect of magnetic energy moving between Twins.

Attract, repel, attract, repel. Like magnets.

Separation is the time where the caterpillar surrenders his life, an ego death, and incubates in its cocoon. This phase could be as tragic or enjoyable as you make it. It could last days, weeks, months, years, or decades. It depends on you.

The first separation is the most difficult. 

The ego causes unprecedented levels of unnecessary drama. It creates stories that support negative beliefs about yourself. “I’m not good enough.” “No one will ever love me.” Stuff like that. Or maybe your ego tells stories about others. “He’s not worth it.” “He’ll never see me for who I am.”

Our ego goes to war with the heart. This conflict, the resistance, is the source of all suffering. The ego will make you completely miserable if you let it, until it decides to give up. Or you decide to let it go. To stop listening. To focus on your heart.

Separation doesn’t have to hurt.

When we are connected to our twins at the heart chakra, when we are conscious of the connection on a 5D level, we naturally feel our twins, all the time. When we observe that feeling, we tap into their energy. There is no separation.

Think about it. You are an immortal soul, and you’re stuck with your Twin Flame for all eternity. That means forever, man.

Forever ever? Forever ever?

The only space you get from each other is physical space on a 3D plane, for the micro-unit of time that we are alive in carbon bodies. Which practically comes down to no space at all. Seriously, give your Twin space. Not just physical space, energetic space, too.

It is not energetically possible for your Twin to come back while you’re chasing.

It is not energetically possible for your Twin to return while you are looking outside yourself for the satisfaction of your needs.

You stop running/chasing by turning within. You figure out what you need from your Twin, and you find a way to give it yourself. You ask, why do I tell these stories? You wonder, where did my self-image come from? You think, you search, you dig deep inside, and no matter what you find, you Love yourself.

Then, your Twin returns. When you Love yourself, you Love your twin.

It is not energetically possible to give Love to your twin without receiving that Love from yourself. Your twin is you. On a sub-quantum level, you are exactly the same substance. So, if you are blocking Love from Self, you are also blocking Love from Twin, and your TF is doing the same.

We learn how to Love ourselves during separation. Every cycle breaks another block, heals another wound. When Twin returns, we practice giving that Love away. After we pass the test, we graduate, and go on to the next cycle.

When you look at things this way, you see there is nothing to be upset about when your Twin goes away. It’s just the Twin Flame dance. They will be back when the time is right. Trust in that.


Surrender is a decision made in every single moment. You must be proactive in choosing to remain in a state of non-attachment. This is easier for some than others.

Trusting that we will be taken care of is difficult if you were not taken care of as a child. There may be massive amounts of fear surrounding attachment. This is usually related to the relationship between caregiver and infant. If a mother doesn’t Love her baby, the baby innately knows that it could die. It’s a survival fear. If this is you, heal yourself by becoming the caregiver to your inner baby.

If you have never practiced non-attachment, it may be difficult at first. That discomfort you feel in the physical absence of your twin, the separation anxiety, is attachment. There is a child inside whom thinks they might die if they don’t receive Love. We nurture that child until it’s filled with bliss.

Ego Stories

It doesn’t matter how  many times I say it, people forget to check their egos. When your inner child is crying for your Twin, it loves to tell stories. Take the time to identify what stories are being told about Twin’s physical absence. One of my ego’s favorite is “She doesn’t give a shit about you.”

Really, ego?

Everything is pointing to this reality: She doesn’t give a shit about you. If she did, would she do this? Would she say that? Look, there is evidence. Remember when she did this? Or that? You should be outraged. You should get drunk and text her about how angry you are! Blah blah blah. Brain shart.

Please don’t drunk text your Twin.

Your ego will mind-fuck you if you let it. Seriously. The ego doesn’t understand Love. It will never tell you the Truth, because it doesn’t know the truth. When your Twin is away, don’t give your ego the opportunity to spin you in a web of confusion. If you don’t know what’s happening, simply admit it.

I have no fucking clue why my Twin disappeared just now, but fuck it. I’m going to focus on me. #cutthedrama

But I need you!

That’s why your Twin disappeared. When you start to feel co-dependent, you absolutely need your Twin to hold your hand, or you’ll never make it. Yeah, that’s when they typically peace out. Why? Because the energy of co-dependence repels Twin Flame Union. Your Twin is teaching you that you don’t need them. This is something you can, and will, handle on your own.

Let’s talk about need for a moment. You are a sovereign being, and your Twin is inside you.  You are a god/dess. You don’t need your Twin. On the other hand, yes, you do.

God, I need my Twin. Like right now.

This need has to be balanced to support Twin Flame Union. Healthy need is not desperate. Healthy need says, “I can make it without you, but I’d rather not.” Healthy need is not about surviving, but thriving.

I know how to survive without my Twin. I know that I could find a way to be happy without her. Yet, I need her to help me become the best version of myself. I need her support for the mission. I need her friendship and trust. I need her to help me build my dreams.

See the diff?


Separation is the perfect time for practicing telepathy. Since modes of communication vary, the best way to learn is to just do it. You could talk out loud, write letters and burn them, send mental images, or ask your guides to bring them songs. You could even send your Twin orgasms. Fun!

Pay attention to your dreams. Your Twin may send information they don’t know how to communicate with words.

Don’t expect your Twin to be conscious of telepathic dialogue. If your TF is still asleep, you are probably conversing with their Higher Self, which, at this point, is deep in their subconscious mind.

Wait or Date?

There’s no right or wrong answer to this. It’s a choice you will have to make after examining your motives. Don’t date if it’s just a distraction. Do date if it’s fun. Don’t fuck someone just to make your Twin jealous. Do fuck someone if that person is healthy and the sex is good.

Please be careful of who you sleep with. There is an energy exchange that takes place on a soul level when you sleep with someone. You share this energy with your Twin. Your TF may or may not feel you having sex with someone else, but I promise you, they will be affected by the energy of the other person.

One thing to keep in mind about dating. If you get into a relationship with someone else, you’re no longer available to your Twin. This could delay 3D Union. Or it could help 3D Union. Follow your heart. Trust your soul. If you still have lessons to learn, you may be guided to date. If not, well.


If your heart rejects everyone who comes along, this is a good thing. It means you’ve learned your lessons, and it’s likely that your next lover will be your Twin. The not-so-great thing about this is that you have no idea how long it may take before you have sex with anyone other than yourself. So, you may as well get good at masturbation.

Those with sexual wounds may find themselves in a period of celibacy. Purifying your sexual energy is vital to healing.

There’s a difference between making Love to yourself and jerking off.

Consider giving your orgasm an intention. Orgasms are powerful. It’s the place where the body, mind, heart, and soul aligns and shoots off massive amounts of energy. This is sex magick. The best way to use this energy is for healing. I always say, “heal us both.” Never say, “heal my Twin.” Unless your Twin has given you permission to perform a healing, it’s considered dark magick. It’s better to say, “heal us both.” If you accept healing, your Twin is in acceptance also. Don’t be specific about what kind of healing you want to see. Let your Twin’s guides decide what’s best.

Check out my blog on Light magick if you feel uneasy about this.

You could always send the orgasm to your Twin. That’s kind of fun. But, don’t go crazy with this. You don’t want to disrupt their lives.

Please be mindful of the energy you send your twin. If you are obsessively focused on them, they may block the connection, for good reason.

Live Your Life

Your Twin will come back when you have healed your wound, and you are feeling great about life again. Go out there and live. Don’t do it for your Twin. Do it for you!

Separation doesn’t have to be painful or dramatic. It’s up to you to make it what you want it to be. When separation becomes less painful, you are closer to Union. Common knowledge may say otherwise, but this isn’t a 3D relationship.

Many 3D relationships are based solely on attachment. So we think, if it stops hurting, that means we’ve stopped caring. This isn’t true in the TF dynamic. True Love thrives in non-attachment. I promise, in the absence of attachment, you will still be head over heels in Love with your Twin. The energy will feel much healthier and balanced.

Don’t resist thinking about your Twin. Instead, raise the vibrations of your thoughts with hope, faith, and Love. Every time you feel good, take a moment and send that energy to Twin. They will think of you, in a good way. ❤

I Love you all,